November came roaring into the Maritimes, that’s for sure. Hurricane Noel came up to Canada, but had morphed into its extratropical phase by the time it hit us. It sure kept us busy! After working long hours all week, and a 13 hour shift the Friday before its arrival (on Saturday), I was more than ready to hand off the reins to my counterpart for the weekend shifts. Despite my passion for wicked weather, and my dedication to the EMO and media, I really had no choice – my body took me out, ready or not!

November came roaring into my life on a personal level, too. I am on two weeks of health leave, resting – literally sleeping, up for 1-2 hours, down for a nap, up for a short bit again, down for another nap. Then dinner, and bedtime again. Living the dream, eh? After 4 days, I am only starting to be able to be awake for longer than 2 hours at a time…yikes. Methinks I pushed myself way, way across the line this time. Thank goodness for a very supportive work environment – down to managers who have no fear of pushing me to take care of myself. And very loving family and friends who nag me to stop, rest, STOP! Thanks, guys.

I feel like I have been drowning, and I am now very slowly coming up for air. How the heck did I get here, anyway??? I have been missing so very much in the past few months – I have been existing only, not living, pushing myself so hard to try to prove that I am no less productive or efficient than I ever was, MS or no MS. HAH! The catch-22 is that the harder I try to prove that I am no less productive, the harder I push myself, and the less productive I am as I function in a thicker and thicker fog due to fatigue. My life has become seriously unbalanced as somehow I got lost in the need to prove that I am still a capable hard-working person, letting my A-type tendencies take over to the point that work-aholism became a serious problem.

I have missed my family immensely – though they have all been right there with me. With no energy to “play” for even short periods, and a fog surrounding me so that I could not comprehend simple conversations, I feel as if I have been away for weeks. I have missed my creative outlets too – especially my website. As I rest, I am focusing on re-balancing my priorities and my life. Yikes – takes me a brick or two to catch on, eh? But that’s me! 😉

Stay tuned – as I sort this out, I plan to make some significant changes!

Carolyne

www.msmeans.ca

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