Yes – I wrote resolve, not resolution. This year, I resolve to get healed, get healthy, and get balanced.

The past weeks have been difficult as I try to climb out of the depths of pain, confusion, and injury; healing from the injuries from my accident and the complete flip my life has taken as a result. I have reached the anger part of the grieving process. I am fed up – fed up of being injured, fed up of the constant pain, fed up of not being allowed to bet behind a wheel (due to the uncertainty of my ability to stay conscious), fed up of the uncertainty as to why I lost consciousness. To quote a famous line from an older movie, “I’m mad as hell, and I am not gonna take it anymore!” Why am I grieving? Loss. The biggest loss (besides my physical mobility due to my injuries) is to my freedom, since I am not allowed to get behind a wheel until/unless they can figure out why I lose consciousness so suddenly. This has lead to more change – and plans to move my family into the city are now underway (since living in the country without transportation is simply not feasible). There have been tears, fears, frustrations, and now some serious resolve.

The past few years have taken their toll in terms of medications – my body just does not tolerate the MS CRAB meds. Effective immediately, I have resolved to give the MS Diet (http://www.direct-ms.org/) a go once again…but this time, slowly. The last time I tried this, I had just recently been diagnosed with MS, and I think the “cold-turkey” appraoch I took to implementing the recommendations backfired, causing me to become more ill. This time, I will “taper” into it…so taper off sweets/sugar, then taper off dairy, etc. I figure I have nothing to lose (except maybe weight 😉 and everything to gain by re-focussing on trying to control my MS through diet. This, in addition to my workout regiment, should hopefully begin to control my MS symptoms more effectively.

My exercise regimen is much weaker than it was before the accident, as I effectively start from scratch, trying to re-build and strengthen muscles that were injured in the crash. But, I resolve to get even stronger and fitter than before. Being fit in the first place was the main thing that kept me from being completely disabled after my accident.

I resolve to push my doctors to look closer to find out why I suddenly lose consciousness (twice in 18 months, no known cause, but both times resulting in serious injury). I want the medical community to look at other options – not just ascribe it to MS because they can’t think of a cause off-hand. I have heart issues in the family – so I will push the docs to look at me as a blank slate, and not just focus on my MS.

I will post more frequently, giving updates on the progress with the MS Diet, and any effects I may notice.

Happy 2009 everyone!

c.

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