The emotional ups and downs that come with having a chronic illness and/or injury can sometimes take quite a toll on you and the people close to you, no matter your intentions. Sometimes, no matter how strong a face you put on to show the world, inside the tears are there – sometimes a tidal wave of emotion lies just beneath a seemingly calm surface. And sometimes, it can show you the pure love and strength of the people in your life.
This past week, my oldest son did something for me that touched me so deeply, I get choked up just thinking about it: he bought me a lottery ticket. Sounds simple, eh? But let me explain… you see, this is a Hospital Show home Lottery ticket – in Halifax here, it is the QEII show home lottery. I have supported the hospital functions for years now, in each province that I have lived. I have never won anything – but that was never the point for me. My son and I went to see the show home last weekend, and I bought us a ticket, as is my usual practice. It helps a good cause, and gives us some “dream time”. Nate and I spent some glorious time imagining winning this gorgeous mansion, who would take which bedroom, commenting on how many social functions we could host in the gorgeous screened gazebo, and how awesome it would be to win.
Two days later, Nate took one of his buddies to see the homes again, and came back and handed me a piece of paper saying “I bought you something, mom.”. It was another ticket. You see, in our dreaming, he had said to me that if we won, I’d be able to stop working and retire, and stay home, open my own yoga studio, and relax and do my art work. He said, when he handed me the second ticket, that the “luck just felt right”. He knows that I have been feeling vulnerable lately due to the developments in my health these past months – and he chose to support and comfort me by offering me more of our dream.
I was so deeply touched, I confess it brings tears to my eyes even now. I am blessed to have such a lovely person in my life – and I know I am already biased because he is my son, but the sentiment remains true.
So – when I feel vulnerable, what do I do? I look around me – at my wonderful sons, who cherish me as much as I do them; at my sister and brother-in-law, who have been and are my safe place in the storm so many times in this life; at my close friends and co-workers, who share their time, support & laughter with me. Sometimes vulnerability can be a good thing – it gives you an opportunity to see, if you really look, just how special your life is.