Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure. ~Murphy’s Law
I have traveled the river of denial (get it..de-Nile…ok, bad joke) a few times on my journey through life. One of the reasons that I love this artwork above (not only because it is a beautiful work of art from my son’s lovely girlfriend of which you can see more at http://www.facebook.com/caitsart ) but because of the emotions and awareness that it evokes in me. I love, love, love this piece of simple evocative art.
When I look at this picture, I see myself. I see my friends. I see my family. I see the strangers around me. What do I see? I see the highly personal and individual struggle we all travel on our own life journeys. Sometimes that struggle can cause us to deny what we see in front of us, hide our faces…and peek out between our fingers only when we think it is safe again.
As I was lying in the bliss of savasana one day on my mat, happy to have realigned my body, and I began noting thoughts about denial and what it means. I, for one, can be really good at denial – though as I have aged (and theoretically gained vast amounts of wisdom) I have learned that facing the scary parts full on is really the best way I have found to handle anything. Denial usually comes as a result of fear – and our own unwillingness to face that fear. Hence – we develop our own states of denial. (It’s kinda like putting your hands over your eyes when you don’t want to see something, or your hands over your ears if you don’t want to hear something.)
Here is an excerpt from Dr. Sanity about denial and what it is (Dr.Sanity Blogspot):
Denial may be conceptualized as an attempt to reject unacceptable feelings, needs, thoughts, wishes–or even a painful external reality that alters the perception of ourselves. This psychological defense mechanism protects us temporarily from:
-Knowledge (things we don’t want to know)
-Insight or awareness that threatens our self-esteem; or our mental or physical health; or our security (things we don’t want to think about)
-Unacceptable feelings (things we don’t want to feel)
I have learned over time that the moment I recognise that I feel fear (of anything) is the very moment that I have to take the hands off my eyes, turn around, and face that fear head on. If I don’t, then all I am doing is denying the existence of my fear, and of the source of that fear.
When it comes to dealing with a chronic illness, this applies too. For some of us, our chronic illnesses can be a constant source of fear and denial. How many of us deny symptoms; hope symptoms will go away on their own; just take the doc’s word at face value – with no questioning? I know I did, and sometimes still do! (I often call it pure stubborn-ness – but really, it can often boil down to simple denial…ok, I am facing that. 🙂
“Facts sometimes have a strange and bizarre power that makes their inherent truth seem unbelievable.” ~ Werner Herzog
- Recognising your Own Inner Strength through the Fear (msmeans.wordpress.com)
- Strategies for Dealing with Denial (http://drsanity.blogspot.ca/2006/04/strategies-for-dealing-with-denial.html)
- Need to Make a Change in Your Life? (stephen777dotcom1.wordpress.com)
- Are you in Denial? (turningstonescoaching.com)
- Having a Social Life Despite Chronic Illness (theadventuresofarthritisnfibromyalgia.wordpress.com)